Can't Say I Didn't Try
by Sonny at Twilight
Summary: Prologue and Trailer inside! "Sonny, I need your help." "What do you want Chad?" "I want you to make me... normal." "You're serious? Why?" "The girl I like is into down-to-Earth guys, so I've got to be that guy." xPERMANENT HIATUSx
1. Prologue and Trailer

**Okay, I know all of my stories are on hiatus and I already have three stories PLUS the challenge going on, but I was almost literally hit with inspiration today and couldn't wait to post it. If you guys like it and want me to continue, it'll be a chapter story. To be honest, I actually feel _guilty_ for coming up with ANOTHER chapter story idea when I've got so much going on already, but I couldn't wait until my stories were off hiatus even to at least throw the idea out there. Remember? I get paranoid that someone else will come up with the same idea and post it before I can, no matter what it is. So, here it is. Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the original characters and the idea. _Sonny with a Chance_ and anything else mentioned is not mine. **

Prologue

"But, mom, I _need_ to see Lucy soon. It's almost been six months now since she last came to visit," Sonny pleaded with her mom, holding her hands up in prayer position. If she could have, she would've made a halo appear above her head to maybe tip the scale in her favor just a little bit.

"Sorry, sweetie, but we just can't swing the traveling expenses right now," Connie explained. She slid a plate of pancakes across the counter towards her disappointed daughter.

"But what about my _So Random_ money? Can't we use that?"

"Now Sonny, you know as well as I do that we just started building up your college fund with that money and I'm not going to dip into it for a trip back to Wisconsin."

Sonny stared dejectedly down at her plate, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

Connie rubbed her hands on a dish towel and blew a strand of hair out of her brown eyes. "Okay, tell you what… We'll go back for Christmas. How's that sound?"

Sonny frowned harder. "Far away. Mom, it's the beginning of July."

"Sorry, babe, but unless you can somehow earn the money yourself, that's as soon as we can go."

Sonny sighed and drew a sad face with her fork in the maple syrup that had slid off the pancakes and pooled on the side of her plate. There was no way she'd ever be able to raise enough money by herself. Not for two plane tickets… not in time to get back for the big celebration…

* * *

Chad stared across the Commissary at the beautiful girl a few tables over. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

He wanted to go up to her and talk to her and ask her out, but a girl like her would never go for someone with his attitude. Chad wasn't an idiot, so even _he_ knew that much.

Chad would change for her though. There was simply something special about her. The way she walked, talked… just the way she did everything was so… perfect.

Perhaps there was a solution to his dilemma though.

Chad tapped a finger against his chin, wrinkling his eyebrows in thought. There had to be a way. Chad Dylan Cooper _always_ found a way.

Chad slowly smiled when an inspiration finally came to him.

He had a plan. A perfect, foolproof plan. But he was going to need some help with it.

Chad's smile turned devious. And he knew just the person to ask…

**

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A. N. Why do a summary when you can do a trailer instead? ;) (The stuff in bold and italics is the narration)

Trailer

_**The most unlikely person needed help from the most obvious person to go to for help…**_

"Sonny, I need your help."

_**Chad Dylan Cooper…**_

"What do you want, Chad?"

_**needed Sonny Munroe's help…**_

"I want you to make me… normal…"

_**being normal.**_

"…You're serious…? _Why_…?"

"This girl that I like is into down-to-Earth guys, so I've got to be that guy."

"Why should I help you?"

_**Chad was desperate…**_

"I'll pay you $500."

"Forget it."

"$1000."

_**Sonny needed the money…**_

"…Alright, Cooper, I'll see what I can do."

_**----**_

_**Two completely different people…**_

"I am _not_ saying hi like that! What kind of pickup line is _that_?"

"Oh jeez, Chad, a girl like her isn't going to like pickup lines."

"You've obviously never heard _my_ pickup lines."

"…Fine, let's hear a few."

"I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you."

_(Sonny sticks a finger down her throat and pretends to gag)_

"Every time I see you my heart races. I'm hoping to win."

_(Sonny rolls her eyes)_

"You spend so much time in my dreams I should start charging you rent."

"…Okay, yeah, definitely no pickup lines for you."

_**will have to do the impossible.**_

"Don't slouch; stand up straight! And what did you do to your hair?"

"Nothing; I thought you said I wasn't supposed to be trying too hard."

_**They're going to have to work together…**_

"I didn't mean to let someone store hay on your head. It's sticking up everywhere."

_(Sonny licks her hand and starts running it through Chad's hair)_

"Ew, sick! I don't want your nasty saliva in my hair!"

_(Chad swats Sonny away)_

"Don't be such a baby."

_**in order to get what they want.**_

"Okay, review time. When you first approach her you say…"

"Hey, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper from the #1 hit show, _Mack-_"

_(Sonny makes the noise of a loud buzzer going off)_

"Wrong!"

"Fat penguin!"

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to say something to break the ice."

_(Sonny rubs her temples)_

"Wrong."

_**They just have to do it…**_

"Hi, my name is Chad Dylan-"

"Chad!"

"What?!"

"Lose the mouthful of a name and just say hi!"

_**without killing each other first…**_

**_----_**

"That's it, I am never speaking to you ever again, _Allison_!"

"Fine by me, _Charles_!"

"I never should've trusted you!"

"And I should've known better than to ever try to help someone as conceited as _you_!"

**_----_**

"Everything is ruined!"

_(Sonny rushes over to her cousin)_

"No, no, not _everything _is ruined. Don't cry; the wedding will go on. We still have the cake."

_(Chad walks in carrying the heavy-looking wedding cake in his hands)_

"Hey, where am I supposed to put this anyway?"

"Over on the table."

_(Chad trips on a bouquet left on the floor and the elaborate cake smashes into Sonny and her cousin)_

"Oops…"

"Is everything ruined _yet_?"

_(Sonny glares at Chad through the purple and yellow frosting)_

"Yeah, just about…"

**_----_**

"Are you two dating or something? You're always with each other lately and Sonny was just fixing your hair."

_(Sonny and Chad exchange a look before they burst out laughing)_

"Uh, yeah right, like I could ever fall for _Sonny Munroe_."

"Yeah, no, we're not dating. I'm just coaching him on how to be-"

"On second thought, darn, you caught us. Yeah, actually we are dating."

_(Sonny gives Chad a disgusted look)_

"…_Really_…?"

_**----**_

_**Starring Sonny Munroe…**_

"Sonny, were you even listening to a thing I was saying?"

"Sorry, no habla conceited."

"I am not conceited. I'm amazing…"

_(Sonny looks up at the ceiling in thought for a moment then looks at Chad)_

"Well, I have better things to do then just sit here wasting my time trying to get manners through your thick skull. I'm leaving."

"No, you have to stay!"

"What's the magic word?"

"…Please…"

"Okay, I'll stay…"

"What _was_ that anyway? I thought you didn't speak conceited."

"I wasn't. I was speaking manipulative jerk, and -as I thought- you picked up on it right away."

_**And Chad Dylan Cooper…**_

"If you really like her, you should totally go for her, Mitch."

"I don't know, Sonny. She's kind of… mean…"

"So? She's hot."

_(Sonny glares at Chad after he says that)_

"What? It's true. You can't get better than Shelly. I mean, don't be so picky, Mitch.

_(Chad looks over at Sonny and jerks his thumb in her direction)_

"I wasn't."

_(Sonny smacks Chad upside the head)_

_**In… **_

"So have you fallen in love yet?"

_(Chad looks across the table at Sonny chewing a huge bite of pizza, still waiting for an answer from him)_

"Yeah, I think maybe I have."

"_**Can't Say I Didn't Try."**_

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?"

_(Amy giggles and Sonny gives Chad a long look)_

"Chad, _really_, we're _still_ using pickup lines? _Seriously?_"

_**Coming to a computer screen near you as soon as school gets out for me on June 15**__**th**__**. ;)**_

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**

Alright, as it says, this will be coming out probably either June 15th or the day after. All of my stories are still on hiatus until then as well, so just because I'm posting this doesn't mean I'm not still busy. This just means I used my free time to write this out and I just couldn't wait to post it. So, tell me if you think I should continue or not. Sorry if the trailer is a smidge confusing in parts, but you get the gist of it, right? BTW, what do you think of Chad having something close to an obsession with cheesy pickup lines? :) I actually researched bad pickup lines on Google and found this website with 101 pickup lines. All of the ones he used were from the website. Trust me, I could never think of lines that creative or... interesting. Anyway, tell me if this is worth continuing and please vote on the new poll I just put up on my profile. Okee-dokee, thanks for at least reading this intro part and I'll be back on June 15th. Bye! :)


	2. Help? Money?

**Okay, here's the first chapter for_ Can't Say I Didn't Try_. This story is really pretty fun to write even though it's kind of hard for me to write in Chad's point of view. _But_ I'm going to try to do it in his perspective for most of the story up until a certain point I have planned. So I suppose this is also kind of like practice for me. Anyway... enjoy. :)**

Chapter One: Help? Money? 

**Chad's Point of View**

I knocked on Sonny's dressing room door and waited. I had just made a couple of phone calls to arrange a few necessary things and now I was about to officially set my intricate and clever plan into motion. Sonny was the last piece of the puzzle.

The door clicked open and Sonny's bright face appeared in the doorway. She caught sight of me though, and instantly, her smile faded like an old photograph.

She crossed her arms over her "have you smiled today?" t-shirt and raised her eyebrows at me. "Chad, did you get lost or something? This is _my _dressing room. You're technically in 'Chuckle City' territory," Sonny reminded me with sarcasm sprinkled throughout her words.

I rolled my eyes. Well, this was to be expected. I had never really "just dropped by" her dressing room before, ever.

_This ought to be good_, I thought dryly.

"Yes, I'm perfectly aware of that fact, Allison," I said, a little (or quite a bit…) snidely. It's a force of habit.

Her eyes narrowed at the sound of her full name. Ha! She was lucky I didn't know her middle name! Yet…

"Did you come here just to mock me?" Her tone warned me that she was getting impatient and was close to shutting the door in my face.

I immediately turned serious. "Well, actually, Sonny, I need your help."

Sonny sighed deeply. "What do you want, Chad?"

"I want you to make me…" I leaned closer to her ear and out of my peripheral vision I could see her staring at me expectantly. Deep breath… "normal…" I mumbled. Wow, was that hard to get out or what?

Sonny took a small step away and looked at me suspiciously, her expression turning to pure shock after she must've realized I wasn't kidding with her. "…You're serious…?"

I nodded slowly, causing her brown eyes to go even wider than I thought possible.

"_Why…?" _she questioned, drawing out the one syllable word for about three seconds.

"Well," I ran a hand through my hair, a little nervously. "This girl that I like is into down-to-Earth guys, so I've got to be that guy."

Sonny's eyes finally shrank back down to a normal size. By the looks of it, she was thinking it over. "Why should I help you?" she finally asked me.

Uh… Why _should_ she help me? I mean, yes, I'm _Chad Dylan Cooper_, but she's _Sonny Munroe_. She was the one girl who _wasn't_ dazzled by my dashing good looks and charm. That _still_ blew me away. Okay, well, what did people usually want in any situation? …Aha!

"I'll pay you $500."

Sonny snorted and turned her back on me. "Forget it. Find another 'normal tutor.'" She walked away from me (Oh no she did _not_ just do that to me!) and picked a script up off of the floor.

Seeing as how she so rudely left _Chad Dylan Cooper_ standing alone in her doorway, I was forced to follow her in. Everyone had their price. I just had to find what Allison Munroe's was. "$1000," I said, tauntingly.

Sonny froze in her tracks, her brown hair smacking against her neck and settling around her shoulders again. She spun slowly around on the heel of her black converse sneakers (Sonny really didn't follow the trends around here at all), her lips pursed in thought.

I let a smug smirk spread across my awesome face. Right again! Ha!

Sonny rested her hands on her hips and sniffed, avoiding eye contact with me. "Alright, Cooper, I'll see what I can do."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "I knew even _you_ would have a price."

Sonny took four steps closer to me with a pretty serious look on her face for someone who just dressed up as a piece of cake and went on TV. It was for a sketch, but still. (And boy did we people over at the Falls have a good laugh about it too. Especially when she got stuck in the Commissary doors because her chocolate-y layers of icing were too wide. I practically choked on my steak it was so funny)

"Look, Chad, I'm just in need of some money right now, alright? It's not like I'm one of those people who you can just pay off," she stated matter-of-factly, as though I really cared. I was just happy to be right.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. You get a fourth of it tomorrow and the rest when I actually get the girl I like to go out with me."

"Hold on." She held her hands up in front of her. "You just said you wanted me to make you normal. You said nothing about actually getting the girl to go out with you." Sonny continued rambling on.

A condescending smile shot her way caused Sonny to eye me suspiciously while I chuckled to myself again. "Oh, funny, funny, little Sonny… Do you want the money or not?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"No buts. You get the other $750 as soon as the girl I like agrees to go on a date with me. Take it or leave it." I shrugged casually to make it seem like I really couldn't care less if she didn't do it, despite the fact that I would be dead if she said no.

Her white teeth bit into her soft, red-tinted bottom lip (Not that I really notice _that_ much about Sonny. Some people notice eyes, I notice lips…).

Five seconds passed before she finally stopped biting her best facial feature (I'm a lip guy, alright? And besides that, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper for crying out loud. If I want to think Sonny Munroe has nice lips, then _I will_) and put on a business-like face in place of a contemplating one. "Alright, fine. I'll get you your girl. But how long do you think this'll take? I kind of need the money in less than a month."

I smirked. "You tell me, teach."

"Oh, and that's another thing. The only way I'm doing this is if you promise to respect me and actually listen to what I tell you to do." Jeez, she sounded like a teacher already.

"Well, I'm not going to if you make me do something stupid." I wasn't so desperate that I was willing to sacrifice my reputation.

"Do you want my help or not?" she questioned.

"Do want the money or not?" was my retort. I always had to think quickly on my feet when I was with Sonny because (dare I say it) she was actually as clever as I was.

"Help?"

"Money?"

"_Help_?" Sonny leaned closer to me, her arms crossed across her chest again.

"_Money_?" Getting into the argument, I also leaned closer until our faces were barely three inches apart.

I was so close to her, I could smell her lip gloss. Hmm… Strawberry… with… kiwi…?

"_Help_?"

"_Money_?"

As I stared into her eyes, I couldn't help but notice my reflection in them. _Dang I sure do look good. How do I do it? _I thought to myself.

For a moment, we were both just glaring at each other and staring the other down until someone cracked.

Sonny caved first and sighed (Ah, yes, always the peacemaker). "Okay, this won't work. We're just going to have to compromise I guess. You _will_ respect me and listen to what I have to say." She poked her index finger into my shoulder. "And _I_ won't make you do anything stupid." She pointed with the same finger to herself. "Can we both live with that?"

"I guess so," I said reluctantly. I wondered how _she _defined "respect."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good, so when do we start the 'lessons' or whatever?" I asked, vaguely noticing that we were still extremely close to each other.

"Uh… I don't know. Tomorrow, I guess. Should we meet for lunch?" Her hand brushed back a piece of her brown hair.

"No can do. _Mackenzie Falls_ is shooting on location in a baseball park all day tomorrow, morning and afternoon." My tone said that I was happy to be shooting away from the studio for once. Inside though, I was a little disappointed we couldn't get a move on with the teaching of this "normal" thing so I could get my girl. I wondered which of the two my eyes were portraying since apparently, people find it easier to read my eyes than books.

"Okay, well then, I guess the day after will be fine," she settled.

"Forget that. Just come over to my place after work for a couple of hours."

Sonny's eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise. "Wow, Chad Dylan Cooper eager to work. This is a sight I thought I'd never see. She must be someone pretty special then," she noted.

"Yeah, she's pretty much perfect." A grin found itself onto my face as soon as I thought of _her_ again. This was _so_ going to be worth it.

"Hmm," Sonny said shortly. Did I detect a hint of jealousy? Well, I supposed it would be understandable since I was, after all, America's favorite heartthrob.

"Well, fine then, give me your address and I'll meet you today after work at four," she added after another few seconds of silence.

Sonny handed me a scrap of paper and a _So Random _pen after she found them on Blondie's vanity. I scribbled my address on it in blue ink and held it out to her.

Sonny took the sheet and tucked it into her blue jeans' pocket. "Alright, I guess I'll see you later today."

"Fine, just don't tell anyone that you're teaching me how to be normal, okay." It wasn't a question. I was _not_ taking chances with my reputation. If I changed my attitude, then gosh darn it, people would be under the impression I changed by myself without the help of someone from Chuckle City.

"Fine," Sonny agreed.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

**Alright, so what did you think? Still worth continuing? If it is, chapter two is going to be out in just a few days, or maybe even tomorrow if you all ask me nicely. ;)  
Anyway, tell me if you liked it. Just to remind everyone (not that you haven't been good about this, I just wanted to repeat myself) I love, love, love getting reviews, so please review and just tell me whether or not you liked it or not. I accept anonymous reviews too so just tell me whether or not you're reading it or enjoying it so far or whatever. ;)  
Okay, I'm done. Thanks for reading. :)**


	3. No One Wants To Date a Neanderthal

**Yay! Chapter two is here! And don't you just love that chapter title? ;) Anyway, get comfortable. This is the longest chapter I've ever written at exactly 4, 001 words _without_ the author's notes. Enjoy. :)**

Chapter Two: No One Wants To Date a Neanderthal

**Chad's Point of View**

"Gah! What the heck are you wearing?"

Sonny glared at me and smoothed out her light blue dress that should've been on someone from the fifties, and _not_ on any person seen with Chad Dylan Cooper. "It's a waitress' uniform. I'm using it for today's lesson."

My eyebrows shot up and I couldn't help but grimace. What was she going to make me do? I knew for a fact that _normal_ people did not dress up in hideous outfits like that. Well, I mean, it didn't look _that_ bad on her, but still. No self-respecting kid from the nineties should be wearing something their _parents_ probably wore.

Sonny tugged on the end of her messy ponytail and eyed me patiently. She cleared her throat softly. "I know my outfit isn't up to Chad Dylan Cooper's standards, but are you going to let me come in?"

Whoops. I forgot about that minor detail. "Huh? Oh, sure, come in." Stepping aside and out of the way, I let Sonny walk by me and come into my house.

She glanced around the entryway and the living room right off the door while I shut the door behind her. "Wow… I never pictured your house to be so… modest. It's nice. Very homey…"

"Yeah, well we try to live like we're at the bottom even though we're at the top _because of me_."

Sonny smirked and did a pretty bad job stifling a laugh. What was so funny? "That's a Jonas Brothers quote, you know."

Ugh! From then on, I was no longer going to listen to my sister _ever again_. If she was going on _again_ about the Jonas Brothers, I'd just tune her out. Heck, if the stove was supposedly on fire and she was screaming at me to get a fire extinguisher (because the girl can't cook to save her life), I'd just drop and roll right out of the house. Because all my little sister, Delilah, ever did, was either get me into trouble, or embarrass me somehow.

"I have a little sister," I grumbled, pushing past Sonny and plopping down on a tan recliner in the living room.

Sonny followed after me. "Really, how old is she?"

"Unfortunately, she's not old enough to move out of the house yet." I was already planning a party for when she would finally leave for college.

One of Sonny's eyebrows quirked up and her pink lips turned down into a frown.

Rolling my eyes, I replied unenthusiastically that Delilah was seventeen.

Sonny smiled. "Huh. She's as old as I am." She shook her head back and forth and lowered her eyelids covering up her chocolate brown eyes. "Anyway, let's get to work." Head obviously clear now, Sonny stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. Let the bossing around of Chad Dylan Cooper begin. "Stand up, please."

I reluctantly obeyed after she nearly burned a hole in my head with her glare. Apparently, the soft and kind look to her eyes was only a disguise to hide the deadly lasers underneath.

"Okay, so let's start with what you're going to say to… Uh, what's her name?" Sonny inquired.

"Amy," I replied automatically.

"Alright, so what you're going to say when you first go up to her is, 'hi, I'm Chad. I've noticed you around here before and wanted to say hi.' Got it?"

"Do I have to say _that_?" I complained. I mean, it was so run-of-the-mill and ordinary. Wasn't I supposed to be catching her attention and standing out in the crowd for her?

Sonny nodded and brushed her bangs back into place. (When she'd first come to Hollywood, she'd had shorter bangs, but over the year and a half that she had been here, she'd grown them out an inch or so longer. They looked nice, I'd give her that)

"Yes, Chad, I think sticking to something basic is good for you to start with."

"But that's so boring. Forget it. I am _not_ saying hi like that! What kind of pickup line is _that_ anyway? I don't want to start out with something simple and generic. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper; I should be saying something more eye catching." And to think I was trusting this girl to get me my dream girl without embarrassing me.

Sonny's upper lip curled up in disgust. "Oh jeez, Chad, a girl like her isn't going to like pickup lines. We're sticking with simple, normal boy."

I rolled my eyes. She'd quite perceptibly never seen me in action before. "You've obviously never heard _my_ pickup lines."

Sonny stood in silence for about five seconds, staring at me before she heaved a sigh of defeat. "Fine, let's hear a few."

I knew she would want to hear them. They _were_ incredibly good _and_ original. "I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you," I started, speaking to Sonny as though I were actually in love with her. Yeah right!

Her eyes widened and she stuck a single finger down her throat and pretended to gag. Well! _I_ liked it.

Okay, maybe the next one she could appreciate. "Every time I see you my heart races, and I'm hoping to win," I said confidently.

This time all she did was roll her eyes up and look at the ceiling in a "why me?" fashion. For a good girl, she sure could be mean. To me, anyway.

"You spend so much time in my dreams I should really start charging you rent," I tried with less feeling, already knowing Sonny wouldn't be able to appreciate this one either.

Sonny just stared at me for a second before finally nodding her head slowly. "Okay, yeah, definitely no pickup lines for you."

"What? But I-"

"No buts, Cooper. This is for your own good, trust me. We'll just leave it at this: you should stick to the basics and acting. Now," Sonny continued talking over my protests. I finally gave up, realizing how stubborn she really was and that for once I was not going to get my own way. It was so annoying and yet… slightly endearing at the same time that she was that way. "Speaking of the basics, let's start with the basics of manners."

The front door clicked open at that moment and in walked my freaky, as-annoying-as-they-come, seventeen year old sister, Delilah.

"Hey, I'm home!" She walked into the living room but stopped when she saw Sonny. A smile spread across her face with the speed of a wild fire. "Oh, hey, I didn't know we had company. Hi, I'm Delilah." She waved at Sonny from across the medium-sized room.

"Hi, I'm Sonny. It's nice to meet you." She waved back at Delilah.

Delilah looked right at me and smirked. "So you finally got the guts to ask her out, huh?"

Why that little… "_No_, the girl I'm going to ask out is _Amy_. _Not Sonny_." I clarified, exasperated. How hard was it to remember?

Delilah rolled her blue eyes and snickered. "Whatever you say, Charles. Have fun on the 'Rollercoaster of Denial and Falsehoods.'"

Sonny giggled and I shifted my glare from my evil little sister to my evil, over-paid tutor. "Your real name is Charles?"

"No," I said vehemently. Of course it was, but I hated that name. It was so… not Chad Dylan Cooper.

Delilah caught Sonny's eye and mouthed "it is," and nodded almost sympathetically.

That was it! If I had to endure actually listening to Sonny Munroe, than I did not want my sister there to witness it, or make it even more impossibly embarrassing.

"Delilah, I think it's time you leave, _now_," I stated bluntly. I suppose I could've said "beat it, kid" instead, but somehow it seemed too mean. Weird, seeing as how nothing should've seemed too mean when it came to Delilah. Dang it, Sonny's niceness was already rubbing off on me!

She shrugged lightly and turned for the staircase. "Whatever. I'm calling Joey. And FYI, mom and dad'll be home in an hour."

_Great, Delly, that was five seconds of my life, I'll never get back._

Sonny smiled smugly at me. Like she enjoyed my humiliation in having someone find out my real first name isn't actually Chad. "Your real name is _Charles _Dylan Cooper?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes up to the ceiling (I felt like I'd been doing that a lot lately). "Yes," I grumbled.

Sonny started laughing so hard I would've been afraid she would stop breathing if I wasn't so ticked off at her and my sister and… well, pretty much the entire world.

"It's not that funny!" I shouted. She was the only girl in the entire world who would dare to actually laugh at me in a mocking way. And once again, it was annoying, yet slightly endearing. But mostly annoying.

"Okay… Okay, I'm sorry," she gasped, clutching her sides. "It's just… I suppose I can kind of see how Chad might've worked better for a Hollywood name."

"Oh, well, not everyone's name is as '_great_' as your name. What is your middle name anyway?"

Her smile instantly faded and she averted her eyes down to her black heels with little blue bows on the ends. "Uh… I'd rather not say."

"Hey, if _I _have to have you know what my real name is, I need some leverage over you too. Now let's hear it, Ali," I provoked.

Sonny took a deep breath and looked me right in the eye. "Fine. My middle name is Theresa."

Hmm… Not too bad. Allison Theresa- Wait a minute! Oh this was _great_ leverage!

"Hey… Allison Theresa Munroe? That means your initials are 'ATM' then, right? Oh, that is _classic_," I said, smugly.

Sonny frowned and flicked my forehead.

"Uh, _ouch_."

"Can we please just agree to call each other Sonny and Chad in public and move on with our lives?" she questioned, visibly embarrassed.

"Okay sure, but… _really_? 'ATM?'" Oh come on! Even _you_ have to admit it's a little bit funny._ I_ could get away with having the initials for the 'Center for Disease Control' because so far in my life, the only person to mention that was Sonny (of course). But _everyone_ would pick up on 'ATM.' Ha!

Sonny's pale arms crossed over her chest as her frown became more pronounced. "My parents hadn't slept in about four days so they weren't really thinking it through when they decided to name me after both my grandmothers. Now can we please just leave it at that?" she snapped.

"Whatever you say, teach," I said cockily. I may not mention it to anyone in public, but in private, Sonny would never live this down. Hehehe.

Her sparkly brown eyes rolled (What was it with the eye rolling today?) and a quick, exasperated breath escaped her mouth. "Alright, fine, let's just get started. Now, where's your dining room?"

I pointed to the room right next to the one we were in and Sonny led the way, stopping in front of one of the chairs.

"Have a seat," she said sweetly.

I pulled out a chair and sat down, looking at Sonny expectantly.

"Now, pretend that we're in a restaurant, and you're on a date with Amy." Sonny put her hands on the top of the seat across from me and waved. "Here's Amy. And I am your waitress."

"Oh great, because I'm actually getting pretty hungry. I don't suppose you know how to make cheesecake, do you?" I asked, leaning back a little in my chair. Now I could get used to these kinds of lessons.

Sonny shook her head. "No, Chad, I'm not really your waitress. We're just going to pretend I am so we can practice manners," she explained.

I made a face. "Well than what's the point of your dorky getup? Couldn't you just '_pretend_' to look like a waitress?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I like getting into character. Now stop changing the subject. We only have so much time to do this. Alright, now let's start with 'please,'" Sonny said cheerfully.

"Oh please," I said, rolling my eyes. I think I know enough about the basics of manners without her to tell me.

Her smile faded, though it looked like she tried to keep it. "No, I didn't mean like that. Now, let's say," she started, rushing into place to stand at the end of the table near my seat. "that you and Amy have both drunk over half of your drinks and now-"

"Wait!" I interjected.

"What?" she snapped back, her ponytail swishing with the sudden jerk of her head.

I paused for a moment. "What kind of drinks are we having?"

I almost started laughing when she got that exasperated look on her face. Oh how I loved teasing her. It was just so easy to get a reaction.

"You're having Coke. Now-"

"I don't really like Coke."

"Then you're having Root Beer!"

Hehehe. See? Shrugging, I gave her an innocent look. "Okay."

Sonny raked a hand through her glossy, brown hair (Okay, so now I'm one of those guys who are really into girls' hair. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper and if I want to switch from being a lip guy to a hair guy in the same day, then _I will_) and sighed. "Alright, so then your waitress comes by and says…" Sonny put on a big smile and placed her hands on her hips. "Are you all enjoying your food? Can I get you anything else?"

I raised an eyebrow. Was she serious? Why couldn't she just be one of those normal tutors who simply tell you what to do and then say there's a quiz on Friday?

"Then _you_ would say-" Sonny crouched down next to my chair. "'Yes, could you _please_ refill our drinks for us?'" she asked in a really deep voice. I so did not sound like that!

She sprang back up to a standing position and faced me again. "Sure, I'll be right back with your drinks," Sonny said, adopting her regular voice again (Thank goodness). Clasping her hands together, Sonny gave me a serious look. "Got it? When you're asking for something, no matter what it is, you say please."

"Yeah, got it, but I don't get what this has to do with me winning Amy over. Could you _please_ explain it to me?" I over exaggerated the word "please" just to be sure that she could tell I was catching on. …And to annoy her.

"I'm teaching you this because girls love manners. No one wants to date a Neanderthal who doesn't even know how to say 'please' and 'thank you.' Especially girls like Amy and… well, me. We _love_ guys who use manners. Trust me. Amy will like you even more," she assured me with a quick nod.

Well… if girls like her liked that sort of thing, what was the harm? But I still didn't get why she had to teach me like this. "Fine, but couldn't you just tell me what to do and what not to do instead of making me look at you in a hideous fifties dress while you teach me?" Her dress _really_ wasn't that bad, so I don't even know why I kept making it seem like it was.

Sonny sighed and looked at me for a minute. "So it really isn't helping you learn visually at all? My mom suggested that I teach in a more visual way to engrain it in your head, but if it isn't working then…"

"Hold on… You told your mom?" I asked incredulously.

She simply waved it off. "Oh it's no big deal. She won't tell anyone. And I needed the advice for… lesson plans, so to speak. This _was_ a little short notice," Sonny reminded me.

"Fine," I agreed. "But you can't tell anyone else or the deal's off, and I'll tell everyone your middle name is Theresa," I threatened. What? I needed to let her know that I meant business when it came to keeping our little arrangement on the down low.

"Fine then, _Charles_. Let's just get back to work." Sonny pulled out the chair next to me and sat down, finally giving up on the waitress thing. "So, another thing is, instead of saying 'no' or 'nah' when someone asks you if you want something, instead you should say 'no thank you.' It's classier and it's more polite, especially if you're talking to adults," she spoke with a business-like tone.

Easy enough so far. Say 'please' when you want something, 'girls don't like Neanderthals,' use 'no thank you' instead of no… This was easy.

Sonny tapped her chin in thought. "Oh, and instead of answering a question with 'yeah,' use 'yes.' Again, it's just classier. That one doesn't matter quite as much, but it's a good habit to get into when you're talking to adults or speaking at a press conference even."

While she was talking, in the back of my mind I was wondering how many more of these "lessons" we were going to have to go through. I really didn't want to spend too much time… _working_. Hopefully this would be a quick process.

Sonny's chatter brought me back to the real world as she started in on also remembering to say "excuse me" when you need to get by someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this was great and all, but couldn't we get on with some of the more interesting things?

"Also, I think we should go over some more chivalrous things that I think you should start trying to apply to your life," she said seriously, taking the blue hair elastic in her hair out and shaking her hair out around her shoulders.

"Wait. 'Chivalrous things'?" What do you mean by that? I thought chivalry was supposed to be dead? I also thought that you were supposed to be teaching me how to be normal, not shaping me into the perfect, cookie-cutter image every girl dreams of." I paused as I thought that over. Actually… that's not such a bad idea. "On second thought, that doesn't sound so bad…"

"Technically, chivalry isn't totally dead. But even so, if anyone could bring it back, Chad Dylan Cooper could," Sonny said fake-enthusiastically.

Even I knew she was just saying that so I would agree to learning that stuff too. It worked… Because really… who else could pull off bringing something like chivalry back? No one.

"Fine, what do I have to do?"

Sitting up straighter in her chair, she suddenly became even more animated (if that's even possible). "Okay, so there's always the ladies first rule. Open doors for Amy and let _her_ walk through _first_." Sonny shot me a look.

Honestly, did she really think I was _that_ full of myself? I know how to let other people go before me. I just, you know, choose not to pretty much all the time. How hard could it be to change now?

"And hardly any one even thinks of this one anymore but I like the idea of it. I got it from an older book I was reading. You see, when you and Amy are walking on the sidewalk, you should always walk on the outside next to the street. That way, if there's like a bunch of puddles or something on the road, and a car drives by, you'll get splashed with water instead of Amy. Or like if she falls or something, she won't fall into the road."

"But wait, I don't want to get splashed either. Do you know how expensive my clothes are?" I gestured to my shirt.

"No, and no one else really cares Chad. That can be our next lesson," she said, looking like she was really only thinking out loud.

"Well I care. I cannot afford to get some of these clothes wet."

"Chad, this is all hypothetical, okay? And you know you're just going to have to suck it up and be the gentleman. Alright, what else is there? I think that's pretty much it. I heard somewhere that another example would be when you hear a woman crying for help, you drop everything and help her. But, I think we'll just stick with what we've got, so I think that's just about it for the first lesson." She pushed back from the table and smoothed down her dress again.

"Alright. This'll be easy," I said confidently.

Sonny laughed. (At me. That never used to happen to me before she came here. Now it was practically an annoying routine) "You may say that now, but the hard part will be actually applying this to your everyday life and _remembering_ to. But trust me when I say that you will be forced to follow these rules all the time."

Oh, yeah right. What was she going to do? Follow me around all the time? Surely the people at Chuckle City didn't have _that_ much free time.

Sonny made a "V" with her index and middle finger and pointed to her own eyes and then pointed to me. "Because I will be watching you," she warned in a menacing voice.

I couldn't help but lean farther away from her in my chair. "Uh, right… I'll keep that in mind." I slid out of my seat and started walking towards the front door as a hint for ATM to leave.

"Good," she said, following after me. "And next time we'll work on your clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" After opening the door smoothly, I spun around to face her again. Seriously, I don't think you would find anyone else with better style than me, so why change perfection?

"Well…" Sonny wrinkled her eyebrows and nose as she looked me up and down. "It's just that…" She waved it off with her hand and walked across the threshold, glancing back at me. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Same time and place?"

"Wait, seriously, Sonny, there is nothing wrong with how I dress! What's wrong with how I dress?" I called out to her back as she skipped down the driveway to her old, beat-up, red truck.

"See you tomorrow!" was her only response. She hopped into her truck and started the engine.

"No, Sonny, you cannot just tell me something like that and leave me hanging! Sonny!"

Said person waved, one finger at a time, mockingly. "Bye, Chad." And with that, she drove off out of sight down the street, leaving me to wonder what she could possibly be talking about. My wardrobe was perfect.

Sighing, I walked back inside and shut the door right as Delilah was suddenly walking by me to the kitchen.

"It's no wonder you need a tutor on how to be a normal person," she observed, smirking.

Ugh, this whole tutor thing was already causing me trouble. But, I just had to keep reminding myself that this was all for my dream girl. _Only_ for her. And this would be worth it. I hoped…

**Wow that was a _long_ chapter... I hope you guys liked it. I'm still struggling a little to keep Chad in character and write everything in his perspective. He's just so complicated. Anyway, thanks for reading and thank you for all the awesome reviews you've been giving this. I appreciate it all. Happy Tuesday! :)**

**--UPDATE - April 29, 2010--  
I'm so sorry, but this story is on permanent hiatus now. So early on in the story too. :-(  
Thank you for reading, and if you want to know why I was so cryptic about who the girl was, PM me and I'll tell you. **


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